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3 Tools To Build A Healthy Relationship (or Marriage)

relationship tools

There goes a saying that, the healthier your relationship grows, the more progressive your life would be.

This saying is not only applicable in marriages or romantic relationships. It cuts across all kinds of relationships that shape a person’s life, career, business etc.

However, for perspective, this piece centers on the powerful relationship tools you need to possess in order to build a healthy relationship or marriage.

Relationship tools

Would you rather embark on a journey without the necessary information or preparation you will need for a safe and peaceful ride?

Well, before we delve right into it, lets have an accurate understanding of what a healthy relationship entails.

The healthier your relationship grows, the more progressive your life would become.

What is a healthy relationship?

According to the Hall Health Center of the University of Washington, a healthy relationship is a state in which two people develop a connection through mutual respect, support, honesty, trust, separate identities, good communication and equality.

Referencing the list of qualities enumerated above, you discover it is impossible to interchange one for the other.

Each one of them is a separate quality that uniquely plays a vital role in establishing a healthy relationship.

Below are the relationship tools you must possess in your toolbox for healthy relationship or marriage.

#3 Allow Your Partner To Own their Feeling

Often, the way we respond to circumstances differ for everyone;  what might seem big to one, might interpret as small for the other and vice-versa.

There is this rule that can help you adopt a healthy and effective communication with your partner- ALL FEELINGS ARE VALID.

Having a healthy sense of one’s feeling is a strong indication of a healthy self- esteem which paves way for a healthy relationship with another. When you allow your partner to own their feeling, you inevitably encourage them to be their unique self.

A healthy relationship is made up of people who live their own lives and come together to share their lives with one another.

All feelings irrespective of the rationale behind them are valid.

This means that when you give another room to feel their feeling, it is a profound way of saying to the person, “I see you. I hear you!”

This is so powerful that it can take one from the brink of self-destruction to a place of being completely seen and accepted for who they are.

When you give another room to feel their feeling, it is a profound way of saying to the person, “I see you. I hear you!”

Gabrielle Okoli

#2 Respect Your Partner’s Privacy

While two people come together for a common goal, each person is still an individual, regardless of the bond binding them together.

One of the relationship tools you must equip yourself with is to learn to stay in your circle. That is, exercising control over what you have any right over- Yourself.

This, not only enhances communication, it promotes peace and creates room for healthy partnership to thrive.

In addition, it communicates a core message of respect towards the other person and highlights a strong sense of security.

More importantly, it keeps you from disrespecting yourself and violating the other person.

When you find the need to snoop, then it is time to review your choices.

#1 Have Your Alone Time

While it is important to spend quality time together with your partner in your respective relationship, it is equally as important to have your alone time as much as possible.

Each person in a relationship has a different identity, different personality and drive. Investing in an alone time is pertinent to avoid losing yourself and identity to the other person.

Suffice it to say, loss of sense of value and identity creates room for codependency to thrive.

Co-dependency and a healthy relationship cannot co-exist, just as the co-existence of love and hate is beyond the bounds of possibility.

When partners independently explore their individual identities, they get rooted in themselves and are able to remain present to help the other person grow.

This can also ward off resentment that breeds due to loss of identity. While it encourages each person become their full selves and not a clone of the other.

When partners allow each other alone time, it is a sign of mutual support, which is often marked by good communication and fairness. This allows each to rejuvenate in a way that is unique to them alone.

Also, it provides space for each of them to grow independently of the other person. Consequently, encouraging fresh perspective and spice that colors the relationship on a long term.

Alone time is a relationship building tool that is often underrated. Hence, the increase in friction.

Every Relationship is Unique

Relationships happen between two people with different identities, personalities, preferences, likes and dislikes.

The foundation put in place by both parties, and the quality of people involved, are a determinant of the longevity and health of any relationship.

To have the requirement and quality it takes to co-journey with another, it is important to build oneself. Each partner must find what drives them. The other partner might not always be on his or her A game.

Otherwise, your efforts are met with inevitable friction and all other negatives that can follow.

No healthy relationship has ever survived without the above-listed qualities. Remember, your relationship is a strong determinant of your overall well-being.  It spells the quality of your physical, mental, and emotional health.

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