This article highlights the profound ways you can bond with your child. A proper approach must be on a child’s experiences before trying to correct their behavior, whether it is out-of-control anger, juvenile delinquency or other performance misconduct. This allows for a healthy bonding with your child in the long run.
Ask, ‘What happened to you?’
Rather than focus on the behavior and exasperate yourself with the question, ‘what is wrong with you?’ ‘Why are you behaving like that?’ etc. The question, ‘what happened to you?’ is a totally different question that opens up a channel of communication between you and your child. A child feels safe when an adult approaches them from that angle and they would be more willing to let down their guard or defense and speak to you. This is so subtle, yet so profound. Creating a safety net for children is primal in relating with them.
Build Trust and Connection
Get into the world of your children and do not force them to join you in yours because they do not understand you- the part of the brain that helps them to manage their emotion and understand the world is still under development. Things that may not be of interest to you can form a large part of their life. Join them in their activity that they seem to be involved in, by showing them that you understand what they feel and that you identify with them on their business; this will cause them to let down their guards and realize you are not an enemy.
Validate Their Emotions
Children emotional maturity is underdeveloped, therefore when feelings happen to them, they are confused on what to do with them- they do not exactly understand what they are. When you acknowledge a child’s feeling irrespective of what it is, it makes them feel understood and accepted, and will be in less need trying to convince you of their standpoint and will be therefore, calmer. It is also imperative to let them know that what they feel is perfectly natural. This also builds their self-confidence while at the same time, provides profound ways you can bond with your child.
Take Note of Their Values
You might have noticed that we feel strongly about your child’s sense of value. Values are what matter personally to an individual. Activities that are meaningful and likely to be reinforcing for an individual tend to be tied to their values and what they view as important in their life. Accepting a child for who they are helps them feel heard and can foster accepting what contrary opinion you present.
Whatever form of parenting you choose for your kids, make sure it is one that does not drive a wedge between you and your child as it is very reasonable for them to turn against you and that automatically, disallows you from bonding with him or her no matter how hard you try. Be sure to create a safety net where they can willfully come into and truly feel safe. Having a healthy bond with your child helps them build a positive self image.