“What are the importance of self validation?” You ask.
Self-validation is an art that people with a healthy self esteem are consistent with on a daily basis.
As a human being, you embody your soul. What this means is that you live to carry out your soul’s desire; which is your core desire. Without this core (soul) you become a walking carcass.
So how can you live out your life’s purpose without missing a beat? That is what self validation and its benefits is about.
To let go of what others think about you, you have to reach for your soul’s content, and let it pour out without asking for approval. But first, you need to uproot the subconscious that sabotage your efforts.
This is the whole reason why you need others to approve you- your erroneous subconscious belief.
Lets talk a bit about unvalidated Emotions
Unvalidated emotions refers to emotions that are considered as worthless or lacking value when it reveals. This usually happens when you dismiss or disregard or even reject a person’s feeling over your lack of understanding of the said feeling or frustration over their exhibition.
When feelings get invalidated, it leads the bearer to learn to hide them, for the shame it supposes, and this leads them to also hide their true self, for the erroneous belief that they are worthless.
This is often the root of external validation.
At the core of self validation is your feelings. Your feeling directly highlights your needs and if you learn the art of validating your feelings, you can win this ‘game’ of self validation.
Before I move on to highlight how you can validate yourself, you need to understand the importance of self validation. This will enable you get a grip on self-validation and apply it effectively.
Why is Self validation Important?
Importance of Self Validation
- It helps you to stay grounded in your identity.
- It ensures continuous growth in areas you desire without sabotaging yourself.
- Self validation ensures that you to live out your dream without freezing them.
- It helps you understand your thoughts and feelings better, which in turn, leads to an accurate understanding of yourself and your potentials.
- It prevents you from living in a shame spiral.
- It helps you stay focused and eliminates the chances on aimlessness.
- It builds you to focus on things within your power to control.
- Self validation leads you on the path of prosperity and also makes for a well-rounded life.
Disappointments, they say, are blessings in disguise. Sometimes, what you need is constant rejection from the people you seek approval from, in order to set you on the path to self recognition and true happiness.
With these enormous benefits of self validation, it is often prevalent to find people living with little or no ability to self validate, and this is what the next step will address.
How do you improve self validation?
To improve your self validation in a genuine way, a few things must come to mind.
Avoid Judging Your Feelings
There is no judgement to your feeling; it is a very neutral element. Your struggle with your feelings comes from the biased principle you have of it.
People who validate and value themselves know that their feelings are experiences that happen to them, and therefore, cannot be categorized as good, bad, right or wrong. They know that they are only a pointer to their needs. Even when you feel the nudge to hide or suppress your feeling, always remember that like a compass, your feeling is there to guide you.
The moment you learn the art of validating your own feeling, you will completely lose the need for others’ validation.
3. Don’t Tell Yourself How You Should Feel
Having an unreasonable expectation of your feeling is a way you can shut yourself out of truly living.
Because you have unconsciously learnt to choose a preferred feeling over your own feeling because of your fear of rejection, you erroneously believe you can choose your feelings.
Every feeling you experience is there to take you to the next phase of your life. It is always constructive such that, you cannot understand your needs or problems without their existence.
When you have an expectation of how you should feel, it prevents you from seeing your genuine need and therefore, prevents you from seeing your authentic self. As a result, you feel lost and confused with yourself and life.
Allowing oneself to feel what they feel, leads one to stop constantly seeking approval.
4. Know Your Limit
Understanding what you can and cannot do without judging yourself is a great way to validate yourself. It shows that you love and value yourself just as you are without seeking to perform to appease anyone. In any case, if you desire to go beyond your limit, you do it because you genuinely desire to do it for yourself- to improve yourself. You do not do it for any external reason.
5. Nurture Your Own Needs
To improve on your self validation, you need to always put your own needs first. When you nurture your own needs, you rejuvenate yourself, and better understand what it means to be in tune with your feelings and needs. Moreover, just in the same vein, you are better attuned to take care of the needs of others.
Validate Your Struggles
Your struggle is an essential part of you and therefore, represents you. Paying attention to your struggles and seeing it as a perfectly natural phenomenon helps you feel relaxed. You will be less in need of being critical towards yourself and hating the person that you are. When you pay attention to your struggles without berating yourself, you are genuinely paying attention to yourself.
How do You find that confirmation and validation within yourself?
By understanding that you are as valuable as other people are.
Concern yourself with satisfying your wants and leave other people to their own journey. Your want is just as valid, therefore, focus on aligning your efforts to achieving them. You need to understand that you have an inherent value just for being a human being at all, not because of any external factor.
It is possible to stop seeking validation from others completely and be truly happy. Give yourself a break and validate yourself because you are just as awesome.